Emyuil: "Do you want to talk? Or no?" LilyMoore: "No. ......maybe....." (A Redwall log)
LilyMoore's punishment from her great-grandmother is now thus: She is not allowed to do weapon's training, or any studies, except the one that the Abbot is doing for her. She's not allowed to eat with any beasts other than Angela, Emyuil, and Caleb. She must clean and scrub the Infirmary floors and windows, and sew/mend all the sheets and curtains and stuff that Angela shoves at her. She is basically confined to the Infirmary unless Angela is taking her somewhere. The only time she is allowed to be out of Angela's presence is, basically, for her studies with Benar. This all ends on April 1st. To find out what this is all about, I suggest reading these 2 logs:
http://rwmuck.limitless.org/rwmuck/content/poor-rascal-gets-every-living...
http://rwmuck.limitless.org/rwmuck/content/banished-or-im-monster-redwal...
And now for today's log:
RW Abbey: Infirmary
Several beds are lined against the red sandstone walls of the Abbey's Infirmary. An examination table, separated from the rest of the room by hanging blankets, rests against the far wall. Tucked into a small alcove is a sizeable workbench with various containers for mixing and preparing medicinal compounds. Against another wall is a desk for use by the Infirmary Keeper. A curtained off alcove behind the desk hides a locked door to the Infirmary's supplies and linens.
Exits: Infirmary [Rec]overy Room, [H]ealer's [D]ormitory, [O]pen [G]round, [Hall]
Mice: Emyuil, male. LilyMoore and Angela, females.
Emyuil walks into the room, looking for Lily. He seems a bit ashamed of the fact that he scared her yesterday and he treads quietly, carefully, through the Infirmary. "LilyMoore? Are you in here?"
"Aye, she is, but she's busy." Angela comes hobbling over to intercept him. Lily can be seen on the other side of a cabinet. It looks like she's drawing in a book. She looks up at her uncle with haunted eyes, but for now says nothing. "You keep workin' at that, please, LilyMoore. You're doin' a good job." The young mouse returns to her task. The old Healer goes to guide her grandson tot he opposite side of the room. There are somehow no patients in here again today. "I'll never understand you 'ot'eaded Warriors. My family went for generations without any 'Ealers in it until your parents got married. I don't want what to say to you, Emyuil," she grumbles, leaning heavily on her staff and trying to support herself on her grandson and she goes to lead him away from his niece.
Emyuil allows himself to be led away, but voices a quiet complaint. "I need to talk to her. You don't understand. If I can just be with her for a while, I can help." He says this even as he walks slowly across the room. His heart breaks as he looks at his niece. Not that it wasn't already [broken], he thinks bitterly.
"'Ow? Please tell me 'ow. If ye can give me proof of 'ow you'd 'elp 'er, I'll let you talk to 'er." Angela sighs as she sits on a cot and buries her face in a paw. Keeping her tones muted and volume low she says, "I've given 'er the task of drawin' plants for my latest book that I'm workin' on. I find drawin' such detailed and pretty things soothing; I'm 'opin' she will, too." she sighs and looks back up at her grandson. "You're the spittin' image of yer father's father, David Mightyone. Just smaller. You got that from yer mother. How I wish all of you 'ad gotten her gentleness....." Lily continues to draw the peppermint stem she's been tasked with, unable to hear what her relatives are saying and not really caring at the moment.
Emyuil says quietly, "I just need to be there, to hold her, and sometime's that's enough. To show she's not alone. She's despondent, I can see it--I went through the same thing myself. I will not have her come to the same end that I did for lack of company," he hisses now, vehemently.
Anglea stares silently at her grandson for a long while....many minutes, actually. Finally, she slowly stands, nodding. "Alright. C'mon." She starts hobbling back across the room. "'Ow's it comin', Lily love?" The young mouse looks up and says quietly, "It's coming along okay. I just need to colour it."
Emyuil slowly walks over to Lily, avoiding eye contact and trying to avoid making her uncomfortable. "Looks good," he comments meekly. He sits down next to her. "Is it okay if I put my arm around you?" he asks, wanting to not startle her.
LilyMoore shrugs a tiny bit. "Sure, I guess." She starts colouring the peppermint drawing. She's going very slowly and carefully, and she actually is doing a really good job. It's not expert-like-Blisa level, by any means, but it's still recognizable. "Nana won't let me work on the poisonous plants just yet. She says that I have to get a little better at drawing before I can do them because they're so dangerous." Angela smiles slightly and stays nearby, working on her inventory of herbs and ointment and stuff. There's a peppermint twig on Lily's lap, right beside the book she's drawing in.
Emyuil slowly puts his arm around his niece, giving her shoulder a gentle squeeze. His voice is relaxed, but with a hint of worry. "Better than I could do," he comments sincerely. More quietly, he asks, "Do you want to talk? Or no?"
"No." Lily continues to work on her drawing. "....maybe," she sort of relents. Angela looks over at them, suddenly looking very sad as this conversation reminds her of something. "LilyMoore 'as been such a big 'elp today," she quietly says. Not really an addition tot he conversation, mostly just an aside to try and help the young mousemaid feel better about herself.
"Well...what do you want to talk about?" Emyuil asks. "Serious stuff? Or just anything?" He reaches up to gently stroke Lily's headfur, if she'll allow it.
LilyMoore allows it, but then it makes her head itch, so she scratches at the area. "Um.....I dunno." So helpful. Angela decides to start asking questions and see if that helps. "My family has only been 'Ealers, Emyuil, until your mother, Lydia, married your father, Farrer. Do you 'ave any advice for fightin' this Berserker's Rage?" She reverts back to the Tuscani term for it. That's what she called it for most of her life, and that is what Lydia and Farrer called it while their children were growing up, so she's assuming Emyuil will remember it.
"Well," Emyuil says slowly, as he thinks about it. "You have to know that it /can/ be fought. It's so easy, in the heat of the moment, to forget that and assume it's a lost cause. But while you're aware of your anger, it can be defeated. As soon as you feel your emotions rise, you have to keep them in check. If you do that from the get-go, you're less likely to lose control."
"How can you keep it under control??" Lily asks plaintively as she pauses in her artwork and looks up at her uncle. Angela smiles. Success! She has gotten her great-granddaughter talking.
Emyuil scratches his head. Now his niece is making /him/ itchy! "Hmm...that's the hard part. It takes time, and practice." He tries to look as reassuring as he can. "The best way is to focus on your breathing as a simple solution."
"However," he adds, "That won't solve it for good. It'll stave it off though."
LilyMoore's eyelids droop in a combination of disappointment and irritation. "That's....helpful...." she says in a mildly sarcastic way. She was obviously hoping for a quick fix. "Thanks." she adds in a more sincere tone of voice as she turns back to her art. Angela sighs and writes something down on her list. "'Rose 'as told me that she usually passes out for a few days after goin' into the Rage, but yer father and grandfather didn't really 'ave that problem. What's your experience been, hon?"
"Wasn't finished yet," Emyuil says mildly to Lily. "I was gonna say that you need, even more than calmness, a sort of tactical awareness. An ability to step back and ask yourself, is it worth losing control? And the answer should almost always be 'no'." To Angela, he says, "Early on, when I began to suffer from it, I would go into a sort of coma for anywhere from an hour or so to half a day. As I got more used to it, that stopped." His gaze darkens slightly as he remembers the dreams that came with those times.
"So, like, I need to be able to do a instantaneous self-analysis?" And now Lily sounds like a scientist. Angela nods at her grandson's statement, then stares at his niece. "What book 'ave you been readin', love?" LilyMoore just shrugs and goes back to working on her drawing, but a tiny smile has brightened her face.
Emyuil blinks. "A whatnow?" Okay, so fancy words aren't his strong suit. Oh well. "Well, I guess. See, the thing is..." And on and on they go, talking and relaxing, as Emyuil works to repair the fear that's taken hold in Lily's heart, perhaps helping his own in the process.
Thanks for reading!
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