12.17.08 - A Bar Without Its Tender

From Redwall MUCK Wiki


Location: Ruingate Skull and Candle

Characters Involved: Tobias, Serjian, Ashley

Tobias pushes open the door to the tavern with his shoulder. His arms are full of rolled-up maps and charts which are dumped onto a table near the window, left there as he heads for the bar. There is, however, no one to take his order. ".. bloody bartenders," the tomcat mutters, giving a quick glance around and then hoisting himself over to end on the other side. He ducks down to search out some booze. "Never around to do their damn /jobs/.."

Not following too far behind is Serjian, narrowing his eyes pretty much as soon as he enters in distaste. "Where... Are the bartenders?" He grunts, and starts walking towards the bar, not seeing Tobias, seeing as he's ducked down behind the bar, already doing what he's about to do. "Hope they don't mind me taking a dip on the house, th- Tobias! Hey." He looks /fairly/ innocent.

"Now, now, ya'll! Calm down!" comes the slightly worried voice of one of the patrons of the bar. The owner of the voice appears to be a white-furred fox, handpaws held up towards a pair of stoats. All three beasts are gathered about a table, the two stoats reaching for knives with very upset looks on their faces. One of the stoats points at the fox accusingly. "Yew dirty fox! Ya cheated!" Several cards were scattered about the table, as well as a sizable amount of coin close to the fox. "Oh, now where's the fun in cheatin'? Ya'll lost, I won, fair and square!" the vulpine argues, though the two stoats don't seem too impressed.

Tobias straightens up from his crouched position with a big ol' bottle of alcohol in each hand. His brows lift and then his muzzle stretches into a grin. "Heh. Serj. Drinks're on the house, apparently." And he offers the bottles out to the ferret to choose his preference, while his eyes cut over to Ashley. "... I sense a brawl a-coming," the tabby snickers.

"Apparently, they are!" Serj grabs one of the bottles, thumb popping the cork out of the top and letting it fall to the floor. Eyes scan over the impending fight, and he grins. "I wager... four shots of this stuff on the stoats. You in?"

The vulpine frowns lightly as one of the stoats picks up an empty bottle of booze, as well as whipping out a knife. The other stoat merely grins, letting his partner deal with the fox. The knife is slashed towards the fox's face, though the vulpine manages to duck out of the way. "Hey, 't was a friendly game! Wot's with all tha' violence?" the fox asks, paw going to the inside of his coat. The knife-wielding stoat advances on him as his partner takes out his own knife. It's not looking good for the vulpine!

Tobias narrows his eyes a little. "Four shots," he agrees, sticking out his free hand absently to shake on the bet. "Four shots says the tod draws first blood. Then I have to put an end to it." Being Important has its drawbacks.

"You're on." Serj reaches out and shakes firmly on the bet, watching the brawl intently while he goes to get four small shot glasses off the shelves, placing them in a row and starting to pour. Some gets on the bar, because he's not watching what he's doing, but for the most part he keeps it in the glasses.

The fox can't help but laugh nervously as he's advanced on by two stoats, right into a corner. Not a good place to be. As the front stoat lashes out with that bottle, the vulpine manages to catch the other's wrist with a free paw. As the stoat tries to gut him, Ashley draws out a small knife of his own, saving his kidneys. A kick to the stoat's stomach sends the beast flying into his partner, the stoat in back accidentally impaling his brethren.

That's not something you see everyday. Tobias lets out a laugh, more amused than concerned about the accidental stabby, and nudges Serjian playfully. "Hey, uhm. Does that one count for the fox or the stoat?"

"...Whoa!" Serjian glances at Tobias, then to the impaled stoat. "Well, it was the stoat's blade that did it, but the fox kicked him into it... Is that a tie? We didn't discuss what happened in case of a tie." He steps forward just one step, as if to help Tobias stop the fight, but he stops. "...I kinda wanna see what happens."

Is the stoat .. dead? Just bleeding profusely? Tobe can't tell. He glances at the door, habitually checking to make sure no one high-up is coming in. But he /is/ the high-up guy and he just folds his arms, leaning into the counter, watching. "Okay, /technically/ it wasn't intentional. So tie. And I can't stop the fight without a tie-breaker, so." Shrug.

As the two argue over who's winning, the stoat on the ground holds onto his wound, cursing and yelling at fox and other-stoat. The un-wounded stoat is advancing again on Ashley, the vulpine himself now smirking. Fueled by more rage than anything else, the stoat slashes wildly at the gambler. Another sidestep, and the vulpine lashes out with his own knife, cutting the stoat across the arm. The stoat drops his knife to hold onto the wound. Ashley tips his hat, flicking off his bloodied implement. "Now, why don't ya'll get out? Look 't all the trouble ya'll're causin'?"

Serjian just... frowns. "Oh, come /on!/ How do you blow an advantage like that?" His fist pounds the bar, and with a sigh he wraps his paw around the first shot, shaking his head and preparing himself for the four-shot dash he's about to do.

"Ha! There, right there," Tobias nearly cackles, pointing with a slight jab of his finger toward the arm-slash. "Haha, that was /brilliant/! That'll teach you to go against whoever's outnumbered, eh, Serj? Drink /up/, sir!" He eyes the stoats now, ready to interfere if they do anything but tuck-tail and slink-out.

"Yeah, whatever." Sigh. Serjian taps his fingers on the first glass, takes a breath, and... Lifts it up, doing the shot. Gulping that one down, he slams the glass down, moving on to the next one, throwing it over his bottom lip and gulping it down, barely letting it hit his tongue at all. Cough! He hacks once, then grabs the third, shooting it, then the fourth, all in a very quick amount of time. "Aaaaaaaaaagh." He coughs again, shaking his head. "Whew!"

The vulpine snatches up his winnings, as well as the bottle of alcohol remaining on the table. He steps over one of the beasts, right onto the bleeding wound of the accidentally-stabbed stoat. After a kick to the arm-wounded stoat's belly, the two get the message, and they soon exit the bar rather hastily. It's only then that the vulpine finally notices the two over at the bar. He grins at them. "Whoo, sorry ya'll! Hope I didn't ruin ya'll's drinkin'."

Tobias grins toothily at the fox, head shaking slightly. "As a matter of fact.. you just got it started," he informs Ashley, and shoots a glance at Serj. Nothing like enjoying someone's expression when they drink four shots in a row. "Doing okay? Hey, you, ahh.. fox-guy. C'mon, let me get you a drink."

Drumdrumdrumdrumdrum go Serj's paws on the bar. Then, finally, with a shake and a final "Wagh!" he seems to be over the initial convulsions. :P "Oh bad idea bad idea bad idea bad idea..." He chuckles and holds onto the bar. He may not need it now, but he'll need it in a second. "You... fox-guy. You're... Trying to kill me."

The fox sits down on the seat next to Tobias, grinning right back. "Name's Ashley, nice to meet ya'll!" he states as he sets his bottle of alcohol down on the bartop, glancing over to Serj. "Ya...okay there, pal? Eh...killin' ya?" he asks, confused. Somebeast wasn't paying attention!

Tobias is just.. amused. Endlessly so, as he smirks at Serjian's reaction and then uncorks the bottle he holds. The cat behind the bar grabs two glasses from a shelf, sets these down, and pours out some of the beverage into each. Whatever it is. Scotch or something. He pushes one at Ashley. "I knew a jill named Ashley once," he muses, glancing at Serj. Serj may remember her. May not. There have been a lot of jills. And vixens. And whatever. "Tobe's the name, Tobe Venin," he says. "This is Serjian."

"Tankus. Serjian Tankus." The ferret adds on after the cat introduces him. "Good to meet you. Ashley is. A female name. Usually." What a conversationalist. "Oh, bad idea, bad idea..." He's leaning to the side, holding on to the bar tightly.

Tobias leans across, eyeing Serjian closely. "Do not. Vomit. On the. Counter."

Ashley sighs a bit, taking the beverage he's been poured and offering a toast to the two. He sucks down a shot, coughing himself. "Well, strong stuff! Yeah...tha' name's the first thing everybeast comments on! Don' worry, I definitely ain't no Jill. Or a vixen, fer that matter." He nods to the two, smiling. "Nice ta meet ya'll, Serj, Tobe! What brings ya'll to this fine scumpit called Ruingate?"

"Good 'cause jills and vixens are /liars./" Serjian chuckles, head going down slowly to bonk against the bar. "Ashley!" He sits up. "Lemme teach you summin. Never, ever ever ever... ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever... Evereverevereverever ver ver ver ver vvvver. Ever."

"Ah, heh. Guess we're what you'd call natives," Tobias responds, lifting his glass to sip at the drink. Slow sips, that's how it's done, or you'll end up like Serj here. "I'm the Galesabre.. which is just a fancy way of saying some Soulslash decided it'd be wise to put me in charge of.. the.. navy, uh. Serj. How 'bout you sit down, yeah?"

Ashley watches as Tobe sips at the drink, the lightly framed vulpine wobbling lightly. "Guess 'e 'ad a little too much, eh?" he says quietly to Tobias. "Galesaber, eh? So, you're an important beast 'round here, then? Well! Lucky me! Wha's 't like bein' in the navy?" He turns to Serj, raising a brow. "Eh...wha's tha', Serj?" he asks, a paw offered to steady the drunken beast.

"Jus'... Jus' don't do it, mmkay? Proms me." Serj looks deathly serious, eyes locking with... A spot slightly to the side of Ashley's. "It'll getcha /every time./" He stumbles around the bar, holding onto it like he'll fall off if he doesn't, locating a chair, and collapsing on it. "Oooogh. Shouldn'ta done that."

"Heh, aye. Important, that's what they say, anyway," Tobias affirms with a nod. A glance at Serj again, poor guy. "He'll be fine, always is. We've been betting with shots since we were .. hell, probably half as old as we are now, eh Serj? Ah, right. Navy. Uhm. ... rather piractical." The tom shrugs. "There wasn't a navy 'til my mother got Merdez keen on the idea. .. and she's a bit of a card, she is. So of course it wound up that way." Smirk.

The vulpine raises a brow at Serj, and nods swiftly. "Of course! Wouldn' think of 't!" Then, he sips his own booze, starting in on it. At least he isn't doing shots. A nervous smile is given to Tobias. "So, city-sanctioned pirating, eh? Sounds like a pretty good occupation. Bit too dangerous for me, though. I'll stick to cards."

"You got it." Serj stares at the bar for a while. "Scourge-a the seas, Tobe Veninin."

"It's called privateering, see," Tobias corrects, reaching over to pat Serjian's arm. There there, drunkard. "Regent gives a letter of marque, basically says, 'here, you have my royal permission to plunder and wreck havoc under the Ruingate flag'... more or less."

Ashley laughs a bit, nodding. "Privateering, then! A noble profession, no doubt. Though...I'm sure ya'll's victims don' think that way." He rubs the back of his neck, leaning on the bar lightly under the weight of alcohol. "Regent sounds like a good fella! Got 'imself a right nice ol' city, that's for sure."

"When's the ol' Privateer gonna get /me/ a spot in that fiiiine navy like he said he would, ah?" Serj stands up, walking right over to Tobias, waving a finger up above his head. "Y'betcher arse the goodol' Galesabre 'ere is verrrry hansmanly remburst fris troubles." A friendly paw tries to go on the top of Tobias's head, ends up sort of smacking him in the side of it.

"Aye, Jirael. Good enough for a Soulslash anyway, but he's gone half the time. His lady has the wanderlust and--hey." The cat's hand snakes out, catching Serj by the wrist, not before he gets whacked though. The ferret gets a look from Tobias like the tom is going to either laugh aloud or snap at him. "What've I told you, huh? Huh, you drunk? .. don't. Mess up. My hair." He snorts, barely containing his amusement, and gives Ashley a smile. A 'sorry for the kid' kind of smile. "... completely. /Forgot/ what I was saying, dammit."

Ashley sighs a bit, standing up. He waves a paw at the two, chuckling. "Gentlebeasts, mighty fine honor to meet ya'll. I aughta get some sleep, long day ya'll know? What with stoats an' travelin' an' all. I'll see ya'll around, eh?" he says, before he's up the staircase to his room, tail swaying and coinpurse jingling.

"I /am/ drunk. Look at Ashley. Iz her fault." The grasped paw is sort of suspended there as Serjian points his other one towards the fox tod. That's leaving. "'ey! Mebber what I toll you," he shouts after the vulpine.

Tobias sets down his drink and stands up. His hands press to the countertop and he pulls himself up onto it, legs swinging over, hanging off the edge. He stays sitting there and picks up his drink again, absently patting the ferret's shoulder. "Sleep, Serj. Take a nap, man, you'll be okay."

"Nnnnnap." Serj tries to clamber up onto the bar next to Tobe, but gives up after a couple tries. "M'gonna drown in my own vomit." And with that, he puts his head down on the bar, /then/ sits down, and passes out.

Tobias lifts his brows a little. He pats his hand on Serj's back, sips his drink, and then casually pours the last few drops out onto the back of his neck. "... hey Serj," he tells the unconscious ferret. "There's blood on the floor. ... someone should do something about that." Where is the freaking bartender?